Parenting is a full-bodied slow down.
There was a lot of waiting for baby number one. And when he finally made his debut, my body was forced into a slowness I had never known before. First with the early contractions. The timing. The breathing. The gentle swaying and guttural groaning. The many hours before leaving home stretched on for an eternity. I felt every bump in the road on our drive to his birthing place. Every step into the building was slow.
I remember the sweet relief of the birthing tub and how the warm water buoyed my aching body while giving my tired mind a rush of calm. Time stopped and I think I could have floated there forever. But my midwife made me get out. “You’re too comfortable in there.” So baby was born in in the air instead of the water.
After he was born, my midwives told me to take it slow. No stairs. Don’t leave home. Don’t even leave your bed if you can help it. So I made a little nest in my bedroom and when I couldn’t take that anymore I gingerly transitioned to the couch. Those first two weeks felt like forever, time stretching so slow and also so fast between each feeding, diaper change, and stolen moments of sleep.
Once I was healed enough, I went on a lot of long walks with my baby wrapped tightly to my chest. He wasn’t fond of napping by himself. He always wanted to be held. So these walks were restful for both of us. The gentle movement and spring sunshine was soothing and rejuvenating. I could walk for over an hour if it meant by baby would sleep and stop crying.
As he got older and his brother joined the family, our walks slowed down. Now, we were stopping every few feet to pick up a rock or inspect an ant or make wishes on a dandelion. Now, we were walking only a few blocks to the playground.
When we became parents, we were forced into a slower pace of life. Not just in our walks, but in our daily routines and schedules. And even as activities have started to fill up and some weeks feel more full than others, things still move slower than they did before kids.
Yesterday it was raining. The kids have colds so we didn’t want to bring them and their germs anywhere. So we stayed in our pajamas all day. The kids played in the living room while I made hambone bean soup and my husband fixed our dryer. The day was slow and fairly boring, but in a pleasant way. The weather and the kids’ colds was another kind of forced slowing.
And this morning, we’re taking our time too. Keeping ourselves and our germs home from church. The kids are watching YouTube while my husband sleeps in (he’s the one who gets up with them first most days, but Sundays I take a turn.) So I’m enjoying this rare quiet opportunity to do some writing.
Yes, parenting life can be exhausting. Yes, I was awake more than usual last night to help sooth coughs and blow noses. Yes, I’m already wondering how we’ll fill our day today. But there’s a lot of beauty and joy to be found in these slow, ordinary days.
Tomorrow, our pace will speed up again. We’ll rush to get everyone fed, dressed, and packed up and on their way for daycare, school, and work. And our evening will feel too short, as it always does. But even in the rushing and the “not enough time” there are pockets of slowness to be savored.
I’m really grateful for this forced slowness. I don’t yet know how our life will look in the future, but for now I’m leaning into the slow. Storing up the rest and peace for the times when our pace is forced to be more fast and our activities are more chaotic. There’s beauty to be found there too.
Happy Sunday to you! I hope you find pockets of slow and peace today wherever you are.
—NK