Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie broke box office records last weekend as it quickly became the year’s most successful debut. I am not at all surprised. From the moment I saw the first trailer, I was all in.
I watched every teaser and trailer, clicked through to see posts and articles about the making of the movie, gobbled up any commentary about it before it was released, and even bought a special edition People magazine all about the movie and the history of the Barbie doll on impulse from the grocery store checkout aisle. I laughed and grinned my way through the entire thing. My biggest takeaway—the cast and crew of that movie had SO MUCH FUN making it!
Was I obsessed with this movie because I played with Barbies as a child and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside? Well yes, obviously. But also the pure joy and playfulness in the clips and massive marketing campaign was contagious.
So yes, I did see it on July 21 for my birthday, like any reasonable woman in her mid-thirties would do, alongside my mom and sisters-in-law at a small theater in Wisconsin. We gleefully bid our children and husbands farewell at the family cabin we were all staying at together for vacation and got to the movie 45 minutes early to get good seats. It felt like a throwback to see a Barbie movie in a rural theater, complete with local ads and actually affordable snacks.
Friends, this movie lives up to the hype and then some. I was absolutely delighted and—as my mom would say—tickled pink over the dazzling dance numbers, hilariously awkward interactions between Barbie and Ken, and the clever styling of the clothes, props, and set. Somehow they managed to make it feel like a real Barbie dreamland, but also somehow made of plastic and just like the toys I played with for so many years of my childhood. I was also completely surprised by the plot twists, the analysis of Barbie as a complicated influence on girls, and the profound mother-daughter relationship storyline, not to mention the brilliant takedown of patriarchy and exploration of beauty in the ordinary. No spoilers though, because you must see this—if for no other reason than it is pure FUN. Yes, I cried and it made me think, but mostly it was wildly entertaining. In a sense, it reminded me of Everything Everywhere All At Once. That movie was similarly bananas and thought provoking in the best way.
One of my goals for 2023 is to have more fun. I told a longtime friend about this goal and she laughed, because she knows me well enough to understand why this is a challenge for me. I’m a fairly serious person. I like to learn about and discuss serious topics. I’m not very spontaneous and I’m generally risk-averse. My hobbies are mostly solitary—gardening, writing, crafting, and reading. I think this is mostly a product of my situation in life right now, being a parent of two young kids and working full time doesn’t leave a lot of margin in my life for “fun.” Or at least, I haven’t quite figured out how. Sometimes I joke that “vacation Naomi” is more fun than “regular life Naomi.”
There’s a reason vacation brings out the fun. It’s time set aside specifically for that! There aren’t other obligations and it’s a time-limited opportunity to relax and enjoy, even spending more money or intentionally doing activities that spark joy.
While at our cabin with my family this past week, I intentionally carved out space for quiet, enjoying nature, reading, and solitude if I could find it (barely). But I also intentionally chose to have FUN. I said yes to playing games that made me laugh, said yes to enjoying good food, said yes to a second glass of wine and indulging in fudge from the candy store. I went swimming multiple times a day. I brought a tie dye kit to make with the kids—there are 10 under the age of 10 between my brothers and I—and made sure to make my own shirt alongside them. Because tie dye is FUN!
And in the middle of all that—Barbie. Even if the movie had been pure fluff with no social commentary, I think it would have been worth watching. We all need more laughter and joy in our lives. The world is full of turmoil and difficult circumstances are an inevitable part of life, but layered in between the hard there is space for fun.
I have this piece of art hanging in my home office that some friends gave me last year for my birthday. In hand drawn letters are the words: Joy is an act of resistance.
Resisting, what exactly? I can think of a few things:
Resistance against apathy and cynicism
Resistance against conformity
Resistance against oppression
Resistance against exceptionalism
Barbie is a glorious example of all of these. It’s unapologetic in its celebration of Barbie dolls and femininity, but it also doesn’t shy away from critiquing patriarchy, conformity, and exceptionalism—all with a wink, a laugh, a grin, and musical dance numbers to match. At the same time, women are dressing up in hot pink and cosplaying Barbie’s different looks for movie showings. I’m going again on Sunday to celebrate a friend’s birthday and she’s encouraging everyone to dress-up in whatever version of Barbie we want. I’m sure we’ll feel a little silly and self-conscious dressed in such bold costumes in public, but that’s because we’re engaging in a bit of joyful resistance. There’s a pervasive attitude in our culture that insists we should never let on when we’re excited about something. Exuberance is often sneered at. Dressing up like Barbie to go see Barbie with other women is a direct confrontation of that cultural norm.
I don’t know about you, but I’m done with that! I’m going to like what I like, even if it is Barbie. Even if it is the same thing other women my age are all gaga over. Swifties get this. It’s extremely fun to wear bedazzled, sparkling outfits to a Taylor Swift concert and exchange handmade friendship bracelets with fellow fans. I’m not a super fan, but I completely understand the appeal of going to a massive event with other women and girls to dance and sing with exuberance, together.
Adults who dress up in costume, whether it’s for Comic Con, a renaissance festival, Halloween, or a blockbuster movie are often given the side-eye for being exceptionally uncool. But maybe they’re onto something.
Imaginative play isn’t just for children. Pure joy and delight should be a regular part of our lives and is critical to our shared flourishing.
So go see Barbie or do something else that makes you laugh until you cry. Be fully yourself, including being unapologetic about your hobbies and interests. Make space for fun and delight, just like you would make space for exercise or quiet time. And help people like me—who tend to take life too seriously—to find more fun too.
So, let’s have some fun!
With joy,
—NK
Going Deeper
Again, what makes Gerwig’s vision so brilliant is in how the seriousness of the film’s discussion on gender neither washes out the fun nor is diminished by it. It’s a tightrope act that Gerwig walks with fantastic balance. The film wouldn’t be nearly as fun without her honest framing.
It turned out that having fun on purpose wasn’t selfish or myopic or privileged. It was necessary. It was necessary for me to stay engaged. It was necessary for my own healing. It was necessary for resistance to the powers and principalities of this world. It was necessary for wholeness. It was necessary for engagement in our shared challenges and opportunities. It was necessary to remember how to be a person alive in the world. Who knew, eh?
On Friday I dressed in the one pink shift dress I have, painted my nails the color of bubblegum, and put on two pink beaded bracelets that said “existential crisis” on them. I wore white sneakers and snuck Cheetos into the theater, and I watched a movie about Barbie surrounded by other people dressed in fantastic outfits and giddy at the prospect of experiencing this event together. I luxuriated in feeling connected to the other people in the theater in a way I never have.
I’m excited to join you and the group on Sunday. I am feeling guilty about never letting Kirsten have a Barbie!
Janie (Naomi)
“Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It's more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack.” (Dr Seuss)
That’s a prescription we all need to refill from time to time.